Literally Love Sick

My construction paper mailbox was filling up quickly with boxes of stale Sweethearts, and store bought super hero valentines. That morning my fingers were still covered in the dried Elmer’s glue from the homemade valentines that my mom and I finished at 11pm the night before. Each of my classmates had a beautifully crafted card, but the most elaborate, over doilyed, foil heart covered card was for Owen Chadsworth. I had secretly loved him since the day he walked into my life, September of that 4th grade year.
As the room filled with ripped envelopes, I kept one eye on Owen wanting to see his reaction when he opened mine. Spying on him wasn’t difficult as I was a giant among my classmates. I towered over Owen by a whole foot, true love has no height restrictions.
Suddenly, I was attacked! Jennifer, Whitney and a gaggle of other girls surrounded me squealing about my cardstock masterpieces. The whole class was talking about my valentines, and comparing the individual messages.
At that moment I felt Owen’s heated glance on me, and I didn’t know which end was going to explode. I ran to the bathroom without Ms. Bland’s permission. As I was sitting on the toilet and throwing up in the trashcan, I reviewed the cause of my love sickness. Red faced, Owen realized that his gushy secret admirer card happened to match the ones everybody else was holding from me.
Ms Bland was kind enough to explain to the class that I had probably eaten too many chocolates, not that my young heart had been shattered by cupid’s arrow.

V Day

Have you noticed that Valentine's Day and Venereal Disease share the same initials? Wow, VD two things I usually steer far, far away from.
But this year I feel differently, no, not an itchy, burning sensation in my panties, I am celebrating Valentine’s Day with an outsider’s appreciation. Probably like those of Jewish faith who celebrate Christmas, or maybe more like the blue-haired ladies that live in Palm Desert celebrate Arbor Day. I don’t have a boyfriend, the Jew’s don’t have Jesus, and the Retirees are in denial if they think a cactus is anything to celebrate.
Remember on Thursday, if you have a loved one to give them something extra special, and I am NOT referring to anything that requires you to go a free clinic. If you are currently single, shower the people around you with love… but use protection.

Feeling Souper!

I know a lot of things about a lot of stuff, but blogging is not one of them. So as I embark on this very new and popular arena, I asked my partner in crime if I could write about anything I wanted; because as you all know we are experts on dating…but there is more to life than just our dating adventures.

She of course replied with an emphatic yes! Hoping of course if she told me I could write about anything that I would write about something. (As the Queen of Procrastination, it’s easy for life to get in the way of my weekly blogging assignment.**)

Testing the waters, I dove further; Can I write about soup? Her response surprised me. “A very brilliant business man we recently met, Mark Victor Hansen, wrote hundreds of books about soup. I don’t see why not!” Holy cow, she’s brilliant!! We too can make millions, I’m going to write about soup, here goes nothing.

Everyday for lunch I have to make a decision about what to eat. Should I be a big spender and order Thai food from next door, indulge and get loaded nachos from the corner Mexican shop, or be smart and bring lunch from home? The last option proves to be a practice in preparation, and usually winds up as wasted food in the garbage, and me eating a slice of toast with cheese. Mmmm, that’s nutritious day after day.

That’s when I discovered the perfect food, granted it is not the perfect date food for obvious slurping and splashing reasons, but the perfect food for the hard working, single soul. There are so many options, no prep time, minimal cooking, very little clean up and these days it’s even portable. Things have been getting very serious, I’m now having soup for lunch and dinner. It’s great, I get the pleasure of variety coupled with the comfort of monotony. Huh, maybe this blog was about relationships after all.

Take my advice and have a souper day!

**Notice I said weekly assignment. What was the last post date? Oops!