There were no butterflies in my stomach, I’m sure it was a large family of humming birds flapping around in there. Tonight was going to be the night legends are made from. I could feel it (and I don’t think it was the Mexican food I had for lunch.) Audrey agreed, as she clapped her cell phone shut. She had just finished telling her father that this was the night she was going to meet her husband. We took a deep breath and walked into the bar. Tonight was the monthly happy hour for The San Diego Tall Club, where the requirement is 5’ 10” for women and 6’ 2” for men. Ladies and gentlemen, lift that limbo bar and my standards just a little bit higher, because I am thirsting for a tall drink of water.
Imagine my shock when I walked in to find my stunning friend Liv (5’10 just made the cut,) sitting at a table in the corner with one tall man and one tall woman. That was it. Welcome to the San Diego Tall Club. AND the one tall man was already in a relationship with a woman who was not there because she fell short of the height requirement. Every time someone walked in the door, our necks craned hopping that a tall man would duck in the doorway. The girls and I surrendered to the fact that Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome was not there, filled up on garlic fries and vodka.
Audrey and I (feeling like we had hit rock bottom.) headed across the street to Rock Bottom Brewery. A few more drinks, and a lot more laughs later, Audrey spotted a few guys in the corner that caught her interest. I was more interested in my water glass than playing wing-woman for her. Neither man that she was talking to were my type, but how long could I stir my ice cubes and check what Ashton was twittering. Resigned to my fate, I head over to the bleached haired muscled man and his friend wearing white socks, when a table of three beautiful men stopped me with a few words. These gorgeous men hadn’t even been on my radar, they were so well dressed, and had been sitting alone together all evening that I thought they were gay. But with a few words, my radar was adjusted, they weren’t homosexual, they were British. And I took up a stool with these extremely stylish, witty, handsome, British football* coaches. We exchanged banter for the next hour and I found myself starting to fancy* the man across the table. Did I mention that none of these dashing, hilarious, extremely fit football coaches couldn’t have been over 24 years old? or over 5’ 4”? Now I know I had started the night with tall expectations, but tonight was proving how quickly I could be distracted. I was beginning to question my beliefs in dating karma. Here I had set out with such tall expectations and found my choice in men coming up a little short.
There you have it, the tall AND the short of my Friday night. Now don’t get me wrong just because he didn’t reach my height expectations, he did reach many of the expectations higher on my list. In fact, Brad if your reading this I had a fantastic time, and I think it would be mint* if you wanted to go grab a cheeky* pint* some time soon.
Translation Guide
football – soccer
fancy - to have a liking for someone or something I fancy him
mint - great condition
cheeky - flirty, saucy or sassy
pint - the standard U.K. measure of beer
